Tuesday, 12 December 2017

Things are not always the way they seem.


I grew up with my dad, the strongest man I've ever known. Mum abandoned me when I was just seven months old. I always wondered how a woman could conceive, carry a child for months, give birth, nurture the child and then abandon the child. Why labour in vain? Would it not have been easier to abort or give the child up for adoption?

Dad woke up one morning to find me at his doorstep.Mum dropped me off at my dad's. She had found another lover and she was not allowed to move into his home with me. Mum's new found love did not want the baggage that came with her, so she picked him over me.

The moment dad opened his door and found me at his doorstep, his life changed. Dad grew from being an immature seventeen year old boy to‎ a man overnight. He had just been accepted into the university, so he had to defer his admission in order to take care of me. Dad never knew his father and his mum worked day and night to ensure he had a good life. Dad did not want that kind of life for me. He and his elder sister, Aunt Helen, hid my birth from his mum for about three years. Aunt Helen was always ready to help out. I stayed with her whenever my dad had to work late.

Dad made sure I never missed my mum. He was a father and mother to me. Several years went by without a word from my mum. No birthday cards, text messsges or visits. Until one day when I picked up an envelope that was stashed between the padlock at the gate. I was surprised to see that it was addressed to me. I opened the envelope in a hurry, my hands shaking and heart breaking as I read each word.

Why would dad lie to me all these years? That was all I could ask myself after reading the letter from my mum. Mum had described my dad as an egotistic and irresponsible guy. He got her pregnant and denied responsibility for the pregnancy, even though he was mum's first and only love. Mum thought dad was going to change after I was born, but he didn't. He continually denied that I was his child, even though I was his splitting image.

Mum had finally had it with dad's irresponsibility, so one day, she went to his house to tell him to man up. Mum dropped me off with him when he kept insisting I wasn't his child. Mom was about 30 minutes away from dad's home when she realised that leaving me with dad was a mistake, so she decided to ‎go back and get me. While mum was crossing the road, lost in thought, a car swerved to avoid hitting a cyclist and ran straight into mum, sending her flying to the side of the road.

Mum lost her memory as a result of the accident. She lost her phone and, so it was impossible to identify her. The driver who hit her was a young widower whose wife died in a plane crash. He took care of her and got her a job as his Personal Assistant. He named her Ifechukwude, his late wife's name. Mum remained with the widower and after ‎many years, they got married.

I took a break from reading the letter, dropping it as I thought mum's account of what happened did not make sense. How can she have amnesia and remember me‎? I picked up the letter and was about to tear it up, but my curiousity got the best of me, so I resumed reading.

Mum noted that she recently witnessed a robbery at the bank. Her phone rang while the robbery was in progress. Mum brought out the phone from her bag in order to put it off when one of robbers hit her head with the butt of his gun. The robber had seen her fiddling with her phone and thought she wanted to call the police.

Mum blacked out and when she came to, the robbers were gone and she found herself surrounded by concerned bank customers. She was slowly helped to her feet. The pain in her head was excruciating and made her nauseous. Mum eventually made it home. In addition to the bump on her head, she was beggining to regain some of her memories. It took a while, but mum eventually regained her memory. She cried bitterly when she remembered me and all the years of being separated from me that she would never recover. With her husband's help and a lot of work, mum was able to locate old friends, who in turn, helped her get dad's address.

Even though I should be angry at dad for making up stories about how mum abandoned me for her lover, I'm not. I learnt two great lessons from this experience. Things are not always the way they seem‎ and there are always two sides to a story.

I would be meeting mum in a few hours and I'm nervous and freaked out about what to wear and how to look. what difference would it make anyway? A child would always look pretty to her Mum. Wish me luck.

Thursday, 14 September 2017

An ode to a lost love


I remember our first kiss.
I remember how I lured you over under the disguise of needing my keys.
I remember the look in your eyes, as you held my face in your hands.
I remember how those almond shaped eyes, shone brighter than a million stars.
I still remember the taste of your lips as they enveloped mine.

How can I forget you when you gave me hope?
How can I forget you when you came into my life just when I thought I could not love again?
How can I forget you; my soul mate? ‎

You took my shattered heart and made it whole.
You ‎put me a new song in my mouth
And you brought sunshine into my life.
You stood by me everytime and even when my drama queen mode was activated, you never left.
And even times you wanted to be left alone, I chatted and chatted, yet you listened.
You never left me even with my baggages.
Rather you molded me‎ into what I am today.

In your arms I felt safe.
In your eyes I saw happiness.
For in US you found happiness.
And then suddenly....
Now my day has turned to night‎
Sadness has become my best friend.‎

You told me you loved me so why did you leave me?
Why did you have ‎to go?
How easy was it for you to leave and not look back?
How easy was it for you to throw away everything we had.

You were and are still my weakness‎.
I know I hurt you but I never meant to.‎
‎Forgive me for being selfish.
Forgive me for not showing how much I care.
Forgive me for not telling you I love you.

Everyone says I should move on.
They say you never loved me
For if you did, you would be by my side.
Some say he has found another love.
It's easier to believe you found another than to believe you never loved me.

I guess it's over
I guess you would never come back to me.
I guess you would never be mine.
So I say goodbye my love.

Goodbye to the one who meant the world to me.
Goodbye baby mi.
Goodbye Temi.‎
Even‎ though I'm hurting right now,
I wish you love and happiness.
I pray she gives you all I never did.

As for me, I'm never gonna love another
For my heart is broken beyond repair.



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