Asoebi

My focus today is on "Asoebi". This is a Yoruba word which simply means, ‘Cloth of the family’. The word used to denote family, but now friends are also associated with it. Asoebi ranges from Ankara to Lace, Satin and even Velvet materials. While I do not have any problem with the concept itself as it makes a party colourful, I have an issue with how some people turn it into a money making scheme. I have a problem with how some people sell their asoebi at such ridiculous prices. Sometimes I wonder if the reason for choosing asoebi is to make the party colourful, or to make money.

Some years ago, I was badly in need of money because I was trying to get an apartment. As all the apartment I saw were expensive, I decided to cut down on my expenses so that I could afford to get one. I needed to get an apartment close to work as soon as possible because the stress of commuting from the mainland was beginning to take a toll on me. I had gotten home at midnight too many times due to traffic. Besides, it wasn’t safe for me to be out on the streets that late.

While I was still contemplating on how to cut down my expenditure, my friend called me one day and told me about the asoebi she picked for her wedding. When she told me it was N15,000, I told her I didn't have money at the moment and I reminded her how I was still trying to raise money to get an apartment. She was aware of how my apartment hunting had been going. I had been sending her pictures of every place I looked and I informed her of the rent too. I told her I would let her know as soon as I have money for the asoebi. This made my friend angry. This same friend who was well aware of what I was going through at that time, was angry that I told her to give me a little more time to get money for her asoebi.

"Shoo!!! Na me wan pay for your wedding ni?" “Abi if I no buy asoebi, wedding no go take place?" These are the questions that run through my mind when people call an outrageous amount, or get mad at me for not buying their asoebi. Why would you want to make money from people? At least, you for check your pocket before you begin dey plan wedding na. Can't you just ask your guests to wear whatever they want? Better still, why not choose the colour(s) you want and make it a theme? For example, you could ask your guests to wear gold and red. A lot of people have financial problems and buying asoebi shouldn't be one of them, especially when we have a lot of outfits we can wear to a party. Besides, we all have our priorities.

I must say, this asoebi craze has caused a lot of trouble. Some people go to the extent of borrowing money just because they don't want to upset their friend. The worst part of it is that they bug you with phone calls asking when you'd send money for the asoebi. However, once you do send the money, the calls stop coming in. How and when you'd pick up the asoebi doesn't concern them. All their interest is in the money. This simply means that they aren't bothered if you attend the party or not, as long as you buy the asoebi. These same people expect you to buy the asoebi, wedding gifts and still spray them money on the dance floor. Abegi, Dangote isn't my father.

Another annoying thing is the fact that you can get that same material at a lesser price at the market. This doesn’t mean that I'm asking you to sell it at the cost price. While a little increment is okay, doubling the price is sickening biko! Lastly, I have an issue with the favouritism shown at the parties. Sometimes, the people who bought the asoebi are treated better than the other guests. They get served first and souveniers are given to them.

Oh! Did I mention my friend told me if I don't buy the asoebi, the bouncers wouldn't let me in? Hian!! Bouncers kwa nu. Biko, I would rather sit my ass in my house. Is it chicken, rice, abi cake I haven't eaten before? With that 15k, I would buy 5 kilos of chicken/turkey, half bag of rice, cake, coke and still have some change left.

I know some people probably think I am being stingy. Well, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.